April 2004 - Yorkshire Water Launches Diet Tap Water
Yorkshire Water today announced (1 April) that a new Consort Homes housing development in Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire, is the first estate in the country to be supplied with diet tap water.
In a move that will revolutionise the world water industry, Yorkshire Water is planning to lay 20,000km of new water mains that will enable the company to supply its 4.5 customers with low calorie tap water.
Customers involved in a pilot study, which has seen a third tap installed to their kitchen sink, have hailed the new drink as a major success.
A Yorkshire Water spokesman said: "We are the first water company in the world to consider such a move, but are confident it will prove extremely popular. Customers are now very health conscious with diet versions of fizzy drinks selling millions of bottles each year. It is only natural that we follow suit and launch diet tap water, but at a more affordable price for customers.
"Those who have already trialed it have said it has had a beneficial affect on their waistline. In fact one homeowner started taking bottles of the water to work for colleagues to try."
Normal tap water contains zero calories, however diet tap water undergoes a complex treatment process to give it a negative charge that when consumed by an individual attracts positive fat cells from the body. It is this process that has helped those in the study shed weight over the last four months.
Yorkshire Water predicts that it will take around two years before diet tap water is available for all of its 4.5 million customers. First, the company needs to lay 20,000km of new water mains, before customers are invited to connect to the network for a nominal fee.
"Those who connect to the network will have a third tap installed to their kitchen sink. Customers will also have a meter fitted and will be charged the standard price of 0.006p per litre, same as normal tap water," added a company spokesman.
"Many diet brands of soft drink may not only help you lose weight, but unfortunately they make you shed pounds from your bank account paying for them. Diet tap water will be the most economical low calorie drink available which will help customers save pounds whilst losing them off their waistline!"
Andrew Kenna, a 41-year-old office worker, who moved to Cleckheaton in January, swears by the new diet tap water. "In the four months I have been trialling the drink I have lost nearly a stone and a half. I used to wear 42-inch waist trousers, but I've had to buy a whole new wardrobe since drinking the stuff. What's makes it better than all the other diet drinks is that it's so cheap, and you don't even have to leave home to receive it. You simply have to walk to the kitchen sink and turn on a tap."
Consort Homes Sales Director Chris Thompson said: "We are delighted that Yorkshire Water has chosen one of our new developments to supply diet tap water. Due to the success of the drink we are planning to include a third tap in all our new homes where diet tap water is readily available."
<...Hmmm sounds a bit fishy to me, oh hang on, this was released on 1 April, we all know what that means!> (Webmaster)
